What is it about the term ‘Godspouse’ that sends people into a tizzy of heated debate, debacle and absolute insanity? You can’t mention this term in circles and groups without a least one or two people suddenly exploding into a fit of rage on why it isn’t real, doesn’t happen and here is a pamphlet of un-researched data and UPG that says you are wrong! Quite frankly, it’s a fun topic to bring up when conversation gets dry and boring, simply because you can quickly tell who is a safe person to tell you are a spouse to and who isn’t. By safe, I mean, someone who wont ostracize you, drag you through the mud and make you feel as though your personal practice is worthless. I know a lot about this.
I am a Godspouse.
Let me start off by saying that Spouses do not need or require your validation. I know, you thought your negativity and hatred mattered to us but I hate to tell you, it doesn’t. I too, like many uniformed based their ideas on Spouses by the use of social media sorta thought it might have been some hip craze, cool thing to do. Truly, I can admit my own wrong doing. The idea was laughable to me and I couldn’t understand why anyone would wanna say such an insane thing! In fact, to anyone new or outside of the ideas of this, it may seem like an insane thing to claim. People in the Pagan community LOVE dirty laundry. They love to find out hot gossip and they like to talk. (I do it too). Because of this and the unfortunate timing of the Thor movies, it seemed to be just about every Sally Sue in a 200 mile radius was becoming a Godspouse. Tumblr blew up with devotional blogs and boy did things get UGLY.
Granted…yea…things can get suspicious when a suddenly new Pagan claims to be in a consort type relationship with Loki. I’ll personally never see the appeal in the movie version of Loki but hey…whatever blows your hair back! It’s still understandable why some veterans in the community said ”hey wait a minute..!” I did too.
Over time and caving into research both religiously and historical, I find out that Godspousery has existed for quite sometime. Longer than you, I or your ancestors have been alive. Even in modern times, we have Nuns who share a sacred connection and devout marriage to Christ. Even priests are considered married to the church. We know of stories about Zeus and Odin having lovers and wives, even small time Deities take on partners both romantic and sexually (or both!). Google and Bing are your best friends and even more, if you have a local church or know Nuns or where to find em’ (kinda easy to spot <3) you can go straight to the source for more information. Learning is stepping out of your comfort zone and accepting the possibility that you may not be right or you have been misinformed. It happens.
Truthfully, I understood that as a mortal. A speck of star-dust living on a floating planet, I am not the one to make the calls. Isn’t my job, not in my pay grade and I’ll leave that up to the big ones. The Gods.
You see, the problem in the community with Spouses is that the people who don’t agree suddenly somehow have their law degree and are representing the Deity in question as if it’s a bad episode of court TV. Shitty lawyers at that. It isn’t exactly like the Deity will show up to drama court and testify. If you think they will, check out my entry and God-Phones and come back later. One could easily tell a nay-sayer to mind their own business and sure, you have that option but I prefer good ol’ fashioned historical evidence. Yes, I know what you are saying. ”Sefa…that is sorta all UPG and it doesn’t count!”
A lot of the practices and Deity(s) we honor didn’t have a lot of factual evidence but you still go about your business.
Truly, when I started on this winding road with Loki, Thor, Sigyn, Freya…I was under the idea that being spouse wasn’t for me, wasn’t gonna happen and didn’t need to. I was perfectly alright with that notion and ready to carry on. In fact I always felt like my purpose to serve Them was to talk about Them. Even more Loki.
So when you fast forward a few years and suddenly find yourself (UPG) facing the notion of being a Spouse, you sorta get a little confused.
No, I wont talk about that in detail because there are some moments in practice that hold too much feeling to wanna share it.
I agreed and became a Spouse.
There I was, a Spouse. I was waiting for the big information, the key to life, the meaning of it all, the job I had to perform!
That’s right. I was up and disconnected from Deity. I was madder than a kicked hornets nest on a hot summer day. I really was. I felt gipped and screwed over and I had so many expectations about being a Spouse that I felt completely and utterly let down. I thought from all the hoopla I was gonna be something special!
And you know what? I’m not. I’m not any different, any better, any more privileged than the new neo-wiccan next door hanging up her pentacle in the window.
So what now? Doesn’t being a Spouse make you special and cool? NO. Gods no. I’m more confused than the day, 20 years ago, I became a Pagan. Like a drunk little toddler trying to get through the narrow play set of life. I don’t have merit badge, I don’t get special stickers and I don’t get a members only jacket (I feel really mad about THAT one!).
So then why am I a Spouse? Why risk social ridicule and mockery and hatred if the title means nothing?
Honestly, I don’t have that answer. We ALL have our special tasks and jobs and things we do for Deity in our daily lives. I suppose if I were asked why I am what I am or why I agreed to do this, I’d have to say because I enjoy honoring my Deity(s) and I enjoy and take pride in educating and helping people on this path as well. Perhaps as a Spouse that is my duty, I may never know. I just know what feels right.
What feels right for me may not be right for you. That doesn’t make me or any other Spouse less than you or less worthy than you are. I know, there are some pretty *unbelievable* claims out there. We see it all the time and believe me, we get tired of being chucked into the loony bin of fan girls and ”passive pagans”. We should honor our ancestors through education and acceptance. After all, they believed and understood that Deity(s) took on wives, husbands, slaves and lovers…so can you.
You don’t have to like us, you don’t have to talk to us but you DO have a duty to set a good example for newbie Pagans and the community around you for acceptable behavior and treatment. That isn’t optional. After all, you will be an ancestor too and what kind of future for the Pagan community do you wanna leave behind?
There are plenty of daily moments where I don’t know what the heck I am doing, here is a candle, prayer and oh boy am I doing this right? If anyone says that doesn’t happen to them..you may wanna find another source.
I am a God Spouse and I am proud to be one and proud to be apart of this community. We all don’t have to agree 100% but through experience I have found that will a little patience, understanding and education, it makes the community a better place.
Think of something in the community you are unsure of or have some reservations about. Take time to do research on this. What is the background, the practice and why (if) does this subject make you uncomfortable?
Write about and or meditate on what you learned!